WikiWhat? I Look Things Up, Then Write About Them. (Episode I: The Queen Mother)

I was just G-chatting with a friend instead of doing work. We were discussing blogging.

“You are such a blogger.” he said.

“Not really. I kind of don’t like it. I never know what to talk about.”

“What about if women are funny or not?” He suggested.

“Absolutely not.”

I’m annoyed by all this fauxtrage and insular comedic navel-gazing. Everyone with half a brain–and even some women–know that it’s a dumb question because, historically and statistically, women are not as good as men at pretty much anything other than what they already have been good at because they’re either naturally better at it due to certain biological conditions, or have been forced to be better by a long history of oppression and commodification. Also, men are better at run-on sentences.

Women have been objects ever since the first dude realized he was going to die and wanted to make a copy of himself and realized the only ways to do it were to paint a self-portrait (gay!), or to bone a chick. (Metaphorically speaking of course, the reality being much more gelatinous and evolutionary, if you believe in that crap.)

I maintain that there is a very good reason that men have oppressed women since antiquity, and that’s because they have the potential to be as good as men at any given task, plus they’ve got the keys to the beamer, so to speak.

And by beamer, I mean, the sole natural resource that anyone ultimately cares about:

UTERI!*
(no, not vaginas or boobs)

But anyway, that’s not the point of this post.

My friend’s next suggestion was, “you should write a post about looking something up on Wikipedia.”

Ding ding ding! 

So here we go, the very first episode of “WikiWhat? I Look Things Up, Then Write About Them.”  The first installment shall be:

“The Queen Mother” 

According to Wikipedia, “Elizabeth Angela Marguerite Bowes-Lyon (4 August 1900 – 30 March 2002) was the queen consort of King George VI from 1936 until his death in 1952, after which she was known as Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother, to avoid confusion with her daughter, Queen Elizabeth II. She was the last queen consort of Ireland and empress consort of India.”

Ok. I’m already bored.

Here’s what the Dedesipedia would say if it existed: “Royalty is what we call people whose ancestors were more skilled at killing people and taking their money than the other people, presumably those whose relatives were killed and robbed.”

There we go. WikiWhat? Episode I: The Queen Mother

Tell your friends.

*Relax

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